I tried.
Honest to God, I tried to make to the weekend this week. But honey, it's 3 p.m. on a Thursday and this thirsty thug just ain't gonna make it. So put yourself together because we've got a date with a double dirty martini with extra olives and blue cheese.
Dirty Martini Scented
Off switch. I don't know about you, but I sure could use an "off switch" for my pesky brain. Especially right around 3 AM every night. And then I'm tossing and turning and worrying about the dumbest shit anyone's ever...
Beer me! White 80, hut, hut, hike! I still don't know what that means, but it's something my uncle would've said as he wrestled me and my brothers to the living room with a full beer in his paw while...
Honey, hand me that bottle? Your auntie needs another top off. It's been a week, I tell ya. My work load is intense and my dating life is an absolute train wreck. Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece...
Are you still here? I thought perhaps my lack of eye contact and general disinterest may have clued you in. But here you are, still standing in front of me with your half-baked motivational sound bites and cheesy grin. No,...