Congratulations.
You're the world's okayest mom! I'd get you a mug except I swore off giving gifts years ago when one person from high school forgot to publicly wish me a "happy birthday" on Facebook and destroyed my love of holidays forever. But let's face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, what with their spotless car seats, healthy and organic snacks packed neatly in recyclable containers, and quick draw first aid kits. Okay moms are where you want to live: sippy cup wine, the five second rule, and loads and loads of naps.
Sippy Cup Wine Scented
6 oz.
* Handmade vegan soap bar designed by in-house soap artisans with fragrance blends to match corresponding candles
* Shrink-wrapped with a kraft brown label
* Because these soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
Don�t call it a little, don�t call it a bit. This is one *complete* shit show and it won�t stand to be diminished.
* 62% alcohol.
* Kills 99.99% of germs on contact.
* Made with aloe vera.
If I was going to fuck around, you�d know that I was going to fuck around. But I�m not going to fuck around, because I�m just not the kind of person who would. Fuck around, that is. * 62% alcohol....
So classy. That's what I thought when I saw you at the bus station in stilettos. And when I noticed your Starbucks cup filled with Boone's Farm, I said to myself, no. That is classy AF. I wish I could...
The quadratic WHAT? Kid, I was never that good at math. I failed algebra twice. I'm more of a baking delicious cupcakes, good movie finder type of personality. Can't you just find some random 8 year old YouTuber halfway around...