Pencils Midlife Crisis
Congratulations, you've made it to middle age! All those years of being "financially responsible" means you can finally buy a motorcycle and the bitchin' leather jacket to match. Or maybe a year-long silent meditation retreat is more your speed. Either way, you�ve earned it, after all. At least that�s what you�re going to tell yourself on the way to surf camp.
8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils
Sh*t Show Hand Sanitizer
Don�t call it a little, don�t call it a bit. This is one *complete* shit show and it won�t stand to be diminished. * 62% alcohol. * Kills 99.99% of germs on contact. * Made with aloe vera.
F*ckin' Around Hand Sanitizer
If I was going to fuck around, you�d know that I was going to fuck around. But I�m not going to fuck around, because I�m just not the kind of person who would. Fuck around, that is. * 62% alcohol....
Soap Classy As F*ck
So classy. That's what I thought when I saw you at the bus station in stilettos. And when I noticed your Starbucks cup filled with Boone's Farm, I said to myself, no. That is classy AF. I wish I could...
Soap Parent Teachers
The quadratic WHAT? Kid, I was never that good at math. I failed algebra twice. I'm more of a baking delicious cupcakes, good movie finder type of personality. Can't you just find some random 8 year old YouTuber halfway around...