All Available
Soap Working From Home
$11.00
Oh yay... Another zoom meeting in ten minutes. I'm still on the one that started two hours ago and I don't think it's ever gonna end. How the heck am I supposed to refill my coffee mug with more whiskey...
Soap You're the Worst
$11.00
But really. You are. Of course, it makes me look that much better when I'm standing next to you. Which is the only reason I DO stand next to you. Kidding. You know I love ya. Even though you're the...
Soap Writers Block
$11.00
Lube the mind. Or the body. Wait, what? Lather the body. Not lube. Freudian slip. So the wordsmith�s well has run dry? Try this specially-crafted Writer�s Block soap. If this soap doesn�t help you churn out regurgitated ideas and probably...
Soap Social Anxiety
$11.00
I'm *cough* super sick Otherwise, I would TOTALLY go to your [insert any social event here]. You know how much I love mingling. It's just that I broke my glass eye again and then I set the waterbed on fire....
Soap Okay Moms
$11.00
Congratulations. You're the world's okayest mom! I'd get you a mug except I swore off giving gifts years ago when one person from high school forgot to publicly wish me a "happy birthday" on Facebook and destroyed my love of...
Soap Tomorrow Ok?
$11.00
ME, procrastinate? Never. I just know how to get things done quickly, and at the last second. It's just how I operate. I feel sorry for all those suckers who have everything completed as soon as it's assigned. Fools! Why,...
Soap Thirsty Thursday
$11.00
I tried. Honest to God, I tried to make to the weekend this week. But honey, it's 3 p.m. on a Thursday and this thirsty thug just ain't gonna make it. So put yourself together because we've got a date...
Soap Slightly Unhinged
$11.00
Unpredictable never looked so sexy. You have to admit it. There's just something sexy about an unpredictable person. Excitement. Adventure. Danger. Yeah, okay. The danger thing is a little unsettling. Especially after they've had a few cocktails and fourteen jello...
Soap Parent Teachers
$11.00
The quadratic WHAT? Kid, I was never that good at math. I failed algebra twice. I'm more of a baking delicious cupcakes/good movie finder type of personality. Can't you just find some random 8-year-old YouTuber halfway around the world to...
Soap Happy Campers
$11.00
Grab the organic bug spray! It's time to get back to nature. I've already packed the kombucha, the fruit leather, and the beet vodka. All we need now is some marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers, decorative bunting, fairy lights, Nespresso, iPad,...
Soap Class of 2021
$11.00
Virtual graduation? Thanks, but no thanks. I'll just crawl back into bed and resume crying myself to sleep in my unused formal dress. Maybe watch another dystopian movie and wonder why everyone acts so surprised by this ubiquitous plot line....
Soap Zero Fucks
$11.00
None to give. We hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us really liked it when you were just a simple, caring, average Joe. So...
Soap Drinking Buddies
$11.00
Meet me after work? Haha. Like I have to ask. I'll see you at 5:01 p.m. on our usual stools at our usual spot with our usual drinks. There's such comfort in rituals. Speaking of rituals, I'm in the bathroom...
Soap Dad Bods
$11.00
Real men have curves. Mmmmm... marshmallows. And now there's no reason to feel guilty for indulging. Thanks to an incredible new development in the "hot guy" category, Dad Bods are officially in! 21-year-olds are into you, and 21-year-olds are never...
Soap Boozer
$11.00
Blame it on the soap! If you can�t think of a better way to start your morning than with a tall glass of gin and juice, then Soap for Boozers is just for you. My grandmother started each day with...
Soap Birthday Blues
$11.00
Who you calling old? Not me, pal. I'm 21. I've been 21 for years and I'm not about to make any abrupt changes now. Hey! Put that fancy calculator away. Don't you know I still shop at Forever 21? It's...
Soap Cat People
$11.00
Hairball much? Your cats are circling the tub, but don't count on them joining you unless you really are bathing in warm milk. And maybe you are. You cat people are cuh-razy. I should know. I have 14. What? Don't...
Soap Beer Whisperers
$11.00
Fresh banana bread anyone? That's just the tip. I've moved on to baguettes, challah and focaccia. Don't believe me? Check all my social media, hater. I'm practically a one-person artisan bread bakery at this point. And check it tomorrow. I've...
Soap Being Awesome
$11.00
Cool story, bro. You know how some people try really hard to be awesome and other people are just naturally that way? It's like the difference between some suuuper lame story about like, college credits or your thesis, and a...
Soap Calm the Fuck Down
$11.00
Calm your tits. Yeah, yeah, everything is going to hell in a hand basket but come on, man! It's like yoga time. Meditation hour. So put those rainforest sounds in your AirPods and take a breather. Because I expect you...
Soap A New Home
$11.00
Mmmmmm... Smell that? Yeah, nothing except maybe clean paint and a hint of chocolate chip cookie air freshener. No cat pee, spoiled milk, or the unmistakable stench of sadness. So huff on that baggage-free lifestyle for as long as you...
Soap Fucking Meetings
$11.00
Meetings. The icing on the arsenic cake that is any weekday morning, afternoon or evening. And speaking of evenings... didja have to schedule the WebEx for 6:15 p.m. on a Friday, Becky? All to tell me you�d put feedback in...
Soap Baking Wizard
$11.00
Fresh banana bread anyone? That's just the tip. I've moved on to baguettes, challah and focaccia. Don't believe me? Check all my social media, hater. I'm practically a one-person artisan bread bakery at this point. And check it tomorrow. I've...
Soap Namaste
$11.00
Ommmm. I'm not saying yoga pants make you look 20% hotter, but I'm not saying they don't, either. So let's all take a moment to silently express our gratitude for yoga pants. And by "silently express," of course I mean...
Soap Classy As Fuck
$11.00
So classy. That's what I thought when I saw you at the bus station in stilettos. And when I noticed your Starbucks cup filled with Boone's Farm, I said to myself, no. That is classy AF. I wish I could...
Liquid Soap Useless Meetings
$12.00
Wash Them Away Can it be done? Can these useless meetings actually be washed away? I mean, until people start actually reading the emails, I highly doubt it. Karen, I'm talking to you. Sour Lime Webinar Net Weight: 8 oz....
Soap Besties
$11.00
Let's unpack this. And by that, I mean let's unpack everything. I have soooo many things I need to tell you since I last saw you 12 hours ago. And nobody else understands my bitching the way you do! We've...
Candle Fuck This
$14.50
SMELLS LIKE I'M OVER IT Bye, Felicia. Amaretto Sour Scented Net Weight: 6.5 oz. Hand-poured 100% soy wax candle Burn time: approx. 40 hours
Liquid Soap Virus Who
$14.50
Never heard of him. Just sitting here minding my own bat business and it's like everyone suddenly demonizes me. Talk about rude. Peppermint & Cedarwood Scent Net Weight: 8 oz. All-natural, organic, vegan liquid castile soap scented with essential oil...
Soap Dog People
$11.00
Smells like drool. But you're used to that, right? In fact, if I had to guess I'd say your dog is probably sitting in the tub with you right now. Not that I blame you. My dog Charlie is tucked...
Liquid Soap Silently Judging
$14.50
Yes, I'm silently judging you for not washing your hands. Dirtball. Lemon Loser
Liquid Soap Fake News
$14.50
Washing hands is dumb! I'll never believe anything you say about these so-called invisible germs! Science isn't real! And why am I always getting sick? Clean Tangerine
Candle Libra
$14.50
September 23 - October 22 Smells like a peacekeeper. French Lavender Flirt Scented Hand-poured 100% soy wax votive candle in colorful gift box.
Candle Scorpio
$14.50
October 23 - November 21 Smells like a supervillain. Vindictive Violets Scented Hand-poured 100% soy wax votive candle in colorful gift box.
Candle Friendophobia
$11.00
The fear of connecting with someone and having to live up to it later. * Awkward Silence * Neglected Cactus Scented Hand-poured 100% soy wax votive candle in colorful gift box.
Astrology Pencils Virgo
$13.00
VIRGO August 23 - September 22 Virgo Traits: Perfectionist Hypochondriac Methodical Critical Hyperactive Self-Involved Pencils: I COUGHED NOW I'M DEAD LIST MAKING PENCIL LET ME OVERTHINK THAT THAT TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF ME I EXCEL IN RANDOM WORST-CASE SCENARIOS SCHEDULING...
Astrology Pencils Scorpio
$12.00
SCORPIO October 23 - November 21 Scorpio Traits: Passionate Obsessive Vindictive Suspicious Intense Competitive Pencils: CHECKMATE WHO ARE YOU AGAIN? REVENGE IS BEST SERVED CONSTANTLY TWIRLING MY INVISIBLE MOUSTACHE EVIL MASTERMIND BEST FRENEMIES FOREVER PROFESSIONAL STALKER FIERCE AF (Backwards selfie...
Astrology Pencils Libra
$12.00
LIBRA September 23 - October 22 Libra Traits Diplomatic People-Pleaser Passive-Aggressive Indecisive Superficial Flirt Pencils: THANKS FOR NOTHING I'M SORRY I SAY SORRY ALL THE TIME I'M DATING SOMEONE BUT WE CAN TEXT IT'S NO PROBLEM!!!! EASILY DISTRACTE... WHY CAN'T...
Soap Midlife Crisis
$11.00
Kumquat Tree Scented Net Weight: 6 oz. Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
